Can You Hear the Wailing and the Gnashing of the Teeth?

Dear Son -

I know you think I am the biggest ogre in the world. However, when I ask you to make sure you tie the trash sack tightly before you place it in the big garbage can it's not because I am trying to make your life miserable. No really, it's to save you a lot of potential work down the road.

Like today for instance -- we are in the midst of a really bad Spring wind storm. I think we are receiving gusts up to 50 miles per hour. Because you failed to tie the trash up like I asked you to the trash is now all over the yard because you decided not to listen to me.

So while I am typing from the warmth of my office, I am watching you tromp through the rain and braving the wind to gather up an entire bag of trash that has scattered itself all over the yard when the top of the garbage can was blown away by the wind -- AND the trash in the sack that you DIDN'T tie up was blown open as well.

And please don't think I don't feel badly for you. I truly do. It's all I can do not to grab my rain coat and come out to help you. But I know what will happen -- you will begin to whine and cry and I will get tired of listening to you whine and cry and I will send you into the house.

Into the warm house, where you want to be in the first place.

So I am going to sit tight and watch you clean up the mess you created even if it kills me.

Love, Mom

PS -- I left the old hamburger spatula out by the Marie Calendars pie tin and rotten banana creme pie. You can scoop it up off the patio and put it back in the sack. I hope this time you tie the sack firmly shut. Love, mom