Banana Slug Bugs

My son roped asked me to play this insanely wicked delightful game called "Banana". This pain in the ass amazingly fun game is simple. When you see a yellow vehicle you yell "Banana"

And to make it that much more ridiuclous fun we added the game of "slug bug" -- where if you see a Volks Wagon Beetle Bug you simply yell SLUG BUG and slug the person in the arm who you are playing with.

Sounds delightfully simple yes?

Okay so today we are headed into Portland to trade my son's piece of crap cell phone for an 8 GB Iphone. As we arrive into our fair city I really have to pee. I mean I had.to.pee

My son decides now's the time to go full bore with the banana and slug bug shit game.

Son: "Banana, Banana, Banana! Oh MOM A BANANA SLUG BUG!!!!"



Me: Oh Christ, Hey! Watch it I have to pee.

Son: MOM! MOM! BANANA! Look! Oh MY GOD MOM WE ARE COMING TO THE VOLKS WAGON DEALER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! OHMYGODMOMSLUGBUG NIRVANA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I am all the while imploding because my bladder is ready to burst and I just started yelling:


ME: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESLUGBUGJESUSCHRISTHELPMELORDJESUSIHAVETOPEEAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESLUGBUGBANANASOUTMYASSHELPMEOHLORDIHAVEGOTTOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

All the while my son is literally rolling around in the backseat laughing his ass off while I try like heck to find a bathroom.

I found one.

And all was right with the world.