You know when something happens and it bugs you, and it bugs you, and it bugs you so much that you think about it for days on end -- and it won't get out of your head, and it takes up too much head space, to the point that when you think about, or write about it you find yourself just going on and on and on with these ridiculously long long long rambling sentences?
Ugh -- that's where I am. I am stuck in an endless loop.
Stuck, stuck, stuck.
And I am still trying to figure out what happened -- and while I know there is no fixing it or going back, I need to just accept what happened and move the hell on.
So we made plans to meet some new friends for dinner and a movie. It was our treat, we offered. I scored some great tickets, and our kids get along, my hope is that the parents would all get along.
My first concern was our politics. We are at opposite ends of the political spectrum. My second concern was some of us would rather argue for the sake of arguing rather than really stop, open their ears, listen and really hear what the other party is saying. My last concern was (and it's the one I should have really paid mind to) was that some of us in our party have a total lack of respect for people in general. And that makes me really sad.
I wish I had listened to my gut instinct about all of this -- but I didn't. I wanted so much for everything to be as fun and easy as it is with our kids. But it wasn't. Not more than three minutes into dinner the "fireworks" began. Looking back it was very sad, pathetic, and a disaster. We ended up leaving very angry, hurt, and shaking our heads in a very "wtf" way.
It's bullshit like this that makes me wonder why the hell I ever reach out to people.
There's more to this story -- as there always is. But my biggest point is that I have tried for weeks to just put this out of my head, accept it for what it is, and move on. And I can't. I am so angry still, and there is so much more I want to say.
But sadly, I don't think it's worth it, the other party isn't going to listen, they are going to think they are right -- because that's what it's about I think -- especially for her. To be right.
And homey don't do bullying -- I made a promise to myself that I wasn't allow anyone to bully me or my family ever.
I am not looking for an apology -- I think I'd die on the spot if that were ever to happen.
Closure. I am looking for closure -- and regardless of how silent it all is, I think I am getting my closure.
2 days ago
3 comments:
Closure is going to have to come from within on this one. Psycho people don't embrace closure.
Poolie's right. Closure comes from the inside. And you can't fix Crazy.
Some people just aren't meant to be friends. This would be a fine example of that fact.
It's sad when you try over and over and just can't get through to those types of people.
I know....We have been trying to get my husband's brother and his wife to come back to the "family for 5 years. Thought we had made some big headway when they agreed to have dinner with us in September. But, they did not invite us to their house for Thanksgiving again....(this year, they DID invite an elderly cousin, though) and today, they sent us a one line e-mail that a new granddaughter was born last night.....I know they expect a gift....and somehow, I am finding it hard to handle.
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