Independence

I grew up in a time where the Dad went to work and brought home the paycheck. The mom ran the house. In some households the Mom paid the bills and managed the money, and in other households the Dad paid the bills and managed the money.

As we kids grew older my mom went to work full-time which really pissed my dad off. But he got over it when his bank account grew, and life became easier financially.

Growing up my parents each took their turn and neither thinking the other did a great job at it -- however, they must have done a great job at it because their credit scores are perfect, as good as you can get, and they are doing okay in retirement.

I married a guy who is really really really great with our finances. He's smart about it. He provides a great life for us, manages our money (I was all too ready to say take it all over when we met), and is typically fiscally conservative, not be confused with being cheap, tight, or a miser. Because he's not -- he's probably one of the most generous people I know.

We got into an argument about the stupid netflix account. We'd made an agreement that we'd keep it at one level ( 4 dvd plan) and I changed it to unlimited. And I didn't check in with him and broke our agreement. He was mad not at the fact I so much changed plans but that I didn't honor our agreement and changed it without talking with him about it.

Then we got into the whole "Well I make the money and make sure we are all taken care of, our savings grows, our investments do the right things, make sure we have a nice house, blah blah."

My irritation was that even as hip, together, and current my spouse is about almost everything else he's still really really old fashioned when it comes to roles, and finances.

I added up how much my time is worth (truth be told my time is priceless, it's not quantifiable) and it was about as much or more than he pulls in every year.

So this got me thinking that while I do work full-time and make a really measly salary at a lovely nonprofit -- it's clear there would be a shift in power if I earned what he was earning. Which I think is quite possible because of what I do on a consulting basis.

It's all about independence and having your own money. And this chick is going to make that happen. And then we will see about that Netflix account.