As we get older we lose hair on the top and it appears on the chin....

I have decided that I am NOT going to age gracefully. Fuck that noise. I know I have written before about body hair. And how I don't like. But I really don't like it today.

Years ago I had a glorious mane of hair. Granted I began to go gray (white really) at the age of ten but that's another story all together. I think it is a genetic thing. My Great Grandmother had snow white hair that was amazing, and I think if I stopped coloring my hair I too would have white hair. But white hair before 50 is wrong unless you are an Albino.

Which I am not.


I digress.

So I go through this whole ritual of moisturizing, tweezing, waxing and what not. I have noticed in the past two or three years there's been a stray WHITE hair that will pop up out of nowhere. At first I thought it was cool -- now I realize it's my signal that I am getting ready to head down the other side of menopause and that plain sucks.

Not that I adore my menstrual cycle but having a menstrual cycle even if it's irregular tells me that I am still somewhat of a young woman.

The white hairs tell me "not so much lady".

Years ago I found a white hair in my nether regions and flipped out. I mean like Daffy Duck -- I called my mother, my sister, my best friend "OH MAH GAWD I HAVE A WHITE PUBIC HAIR CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!!!!" They were all non-plussed in fact they actually snickered.

In fact, when I went to the laser lady to have some hair zapped she giggled and said "Oh honey we can't zap the white ones we can only zap the dark ones." This leaves me no alternative than to diligently inspect my face daily for rogue white hairs, as I will not ever ever be like our neighbor Great Grandma Hengrove who had long white hairs that grew out of her face. They were so long she'd shuffle down to our house and ask my mother to trim them with her nails scissors.

I shall NOT become like that.

I shall wax until my face falls off.

AGING GRACEFULLY IS FOR SISSY'S.

I SHALL FIGHT IT UNTIL MY DYING DAY. My gloves are now on.

That is all.