"I like you just the way you are..." (Fred Rogers, 2001, PBS)
But I don't. I am a judgy bitch. And I admit it. What runs through my head a lot is: " I don't always like what comes out of your mouth. More often than not I really don't like your politics, or the way you look down your nose at me because I don't share, or embrace your particular denomination because I have one of my own, and I am comfortable in my faith. So please stop telling me I am going to hell."
Most of the time I keep my mouth shut, nodding and smiling benignly. I don't want to cause a scene, create a controversy or a "thing" because deep down you have the right to feel the way you want to feel. I have a hard time saying "no" - I feel guilty when I say no. It's so dumb.
Mr. Rogers always seemed to accept people for who they are. Nice, mean, fat, old, young, skinny, Republican, Democrat, Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Agnostic, Buddhist -- no matter what he accepted people for who they were.
As I age I find instead of being more tolerant and mellowing as the years go by there's a whole lot more I am just intolerant of.
So here I am a judgy bitch and for once I don't feel guilty about it in the least bit. Is that bad?
2 days ago
4 comments:
I think it's human nature to be a bit "judgy" to some extent. And the people who don't like you because you aren't like them are just doing their own brand of judging. I try to be tolerant too, and mostly I am, but giving people the 'benefit of the doubt' can lead to a world of hurt. I just try to stay away from those people.
I just call that my zero-tolerance policy.
I try to "go along to get along" most of the time. But even "I" have my moments when my heart gets too full and I have to open up my mouth...and sometimes insert my foot...truth be told. But that is what makes us unique...we all have different viewpoints and different tolerence levels....
Why does everyone get all wigged out about JUDGING people? Maybe we should change the word to EVALUATE? A smart girl judges peole all the time. Not in the way "I'm better than you are because I would never XXX", but as a measure of how to decide what to have in your world. If you are full of drama, needy, egotistical, a lousy parent (way too much or not nearly enough), full of promises and empty of follow through, dangerous or downright crazy, I make a decision/judgement to not have you in my life or to greatly limit the impact you have on it.
For me, at least, I feel like it models for our kids where the line is drawn. No need to be nasty about it (although sometimes you just have to...), but if crappy behavior and attitudes and actions are tolerated and brought into your world, it's almost as bad as displaying them yourself.
Judge away. Notice nothing PHYSICAL was included in my list - although I would include trashy/nasty/dirty attire in inappropriate settings.
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